This post began its life as my version of Ahimsa’s SE Asia top ten. However, a quick scan of his revealed a LOT of overlap, which -although boding very well for a harmonious holiday- sure doesn’t make for an exciting blog post!
Instead, I decided to take off my ‘always look on the bright side’ hat, in favour of my ‘whiny travel noob’ one, and have a go at a list of things I predict will scare/sadden/bore/disgust me. Like Ahimsa, I hope (and predict) that SE Asia will prove me completely wrong.
Disclaimer: This list is largely petty and, in some cases, bordering on ridiculous. I’m choosing to take this as an indicator of SE Asia’s awesomeness, rather than my crap traveler-ness.
(in no particular order)
1. Squatters, squatters everywhere.
After a year in Korea, I get that squatters are a part of life. I’ve even become fairly adept at the whole thing. Still, there are times (often after a $1 beer or two) in life when you just want to sit the hell down.
2. Bed bugs
Yikes! The mere mention of these things gives me the heebeejeebees. Crawly things. In my bed. Biting me! And as if that wasn’t bad enough, turns out they can lurk on the ceiling and drop down on people, ninja styles. Yikes again.
3. ‘Last call!’
For the last year, I’ve worked 5 days a week in a country where ‘closing time’ in bars is but a distant memory. Not a great hardship, to be sure. But it does seem a little unfair that just as my days are completely my own, word is I’m likely to be kicked out as early as 2am! What the?
4. Scams, touts, miscreants, scoundrels
I’m still quite a trusting wee creature and imagine I’ll feel a little hurt and a lot taken aback when people rip me off, as they inevitably will. How dare they cheat me out of my faith in the human race and my money? Harsh double whammy, man.
5. Two t-shirts, two pairs of shoes, two pairs of pants
The packing list of champions, I’m told. Now, I don’t consider myself a fashionista by any means, and I’m suitably embarrassed to admit this, but I think I’ll be a little shocked to leave behind my skinny jeans and rotate between fisherman pants and shorts for a good three months. Plus, I might have to wear Tevas.
You’ll no doubt be grateful to hear that I’ll leave it there, considering my runners-up (sweaty backpack marks, potential lack of coke zero, ladyboys, weird curly alphabet etc). If this is the worst I could come up with, I reckon we’re in for a pretty freakin’ good trip.
See you in 3 months, Thailand!